Quips & Quotations 16

A new year means a new Thursday theme. 2015 will be about quotes and quips that I particularly enjoy or thoroughly relate to. I hope you will too.

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Quips & Quotations 15

A new year means a new Thursday theme. 2015 will be about quotes and quips that I particularly enjoy or thoroughly relate to. I hope you will too.

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Bathroom Bash

What is it with girls and bathrooms?

From very young on little people of the female variety seem to be drawn like magnets to bathrooms. how-to-handle-gross-public-bathrooms

At school it was to crawl into at recess when you didn’t want to go outside on a cold day. Then later to meet friends and gossip. Even though I was a girl of the female variety I could never figure it out when schoolmates took their lunches and ate, in the bathrooms.

In the bathrooms at church we have a small change rooms. And yes it’s a magnet for the teens and tweens. I mean why wouldn’t you sit in the bathroom and chat when there are benches right there to giggle on.

I don’t think they have any sense of smell left anymore.

But last Sunday I did a double take when I entered the bathroom to see one middle-aged lady teaching stretches and calisthenics to a nigh-on seventy year old  with hip problems in the middle of the bathroom.

Okay. I should check the church bulletin board. I’m definitely missing something. Perhaps next week they’re offering bathroom ballet or horse races.

I wouldn’t want to miss that.

“The toilet flushes—The stall doors fly open–And they’re off—“penn-national-62904f583553dcb8

Quips & Quotations 14

A new year means a new Thursday theme. 2015 will be about quotes and quips that I particularly enjoy or thoroughly relate to. I hope you will too.

ff7b30edb0d7bb0fb1198274e6e3696bYup.


 

Quips & Quotations 13

A new year means a new Thursday theme. 2015 will be about quotes and quips that I particularly enjoy or thoroughly relate to. I hope you will too.

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Quips & Quotations 12

A new year means a new Thursday theme. 2015 will be about quotes and quips that I particularly enjoy or thoroughly relate to. I hope you will too.

f43f3ec1ca602f0b0f3fe31e661cab25Don’t I know it.


 

Story’s Little White Lies

134170985_istockphoto_thinkstockIt’s funny how as a writer I find myself becoming, at times, a better oral story teller. I just caught myself retelling a small scenario from church to my husband and simplifying some of the details to make a better verbal impact and a greater punchline.

Huh. Did I just lie? Did I just go against everything I’ve been taught all my life and tell a Lie?

Interesting. And all the more so because it’s becoming a bit of a habit.

There’s nothing worse than listening to someone tell a story and having them use a lot of “sort-of’s” and “kind-of’s,” or “a little bit’s.” Or describing something as “like a this thing–well, no, maybe it was more like a that–” They try to get the details just so and for many things, like telling how father’s iridectomy went, the details count. After all you don’t want Aunt Bertha passing the story to Uncle Curt and suddenly father’s iridectomy becomes a triple bypass complicated by a plantar’s wart and his body odor and he had an out of body experience in the midst of it.story-fun

If your child’s teacher calls to tell you your child spit on the janitor’s head, you better hope she’s not fiddling the truth, when your child only sneezed on the water fountain.

Nooo, we don’t want that sort of false retelling. And when the boss says you’re getting a $10 an hour raise and you open your next paycheck to find a 10 cents a day decrease— well there’s h— oops, certainly something to pay.

So how do we tell a story for the sake of a good story? Cause I know I’m not alone.

Because I’ve caught myself altering the strict truth of story simply for love of telling it well. I doubt I’m the only one. Let’s hope I’m not heading for perdition. Story gets into ones blood. It’s been part of civilization ever since—ever. Like since the first cave-men with no language, spoken or written, played charades to tell each other what happened out in the fields that day. of course they’re gonna swap the details to out-do one another.storytelling

What does fiddling the facts comes from? Perhaps some of us get tired of listening to stories from people who have to reclaim every detail, important  or not, that slow down the story and cause you to lose interest. The tension is stretched to uselessness by constant correcting themselves or telling too much back-story in a backwards manner, whether it pertains or not.

Or it’s because, as of we writers, the editing of the written word, the maximizing of each phrase to carry the story, the careful choosing of words to say more than they do at face value, has taught us to edit more carefully the spoken story too.

It’s the essence that counts. The overall effect. The end result. Carried only by choice details, not all and sundry.story1

So what if the little boy in church today who, during a pause, loudly hummed the Star Wars theme song actually hummed a different song. I don’t care. It sounded close enough and if I hummed and hawed as I told my hubby the tale, it would have been sadly lacking in acoustic quality.

SO what if the little boy in church today actually hummed a different tune than the Star Wars Theme song? If not, it was certainly a lot like it and created the same impact–a wave of tittering in the rows nearest him. So later when I told my husband, it would have lost the giggle factor if I’d out loud speculated if that’s what song it really was. The acoustic quality of the tale would have failed entirely, thus vetoing the point of the tale.

And it was funny. The little guy belted out that tune right during a pause.AA_New_Logo♫ ♯♪  Dun da da DUN dun, dunta da Daaaa…♫ ♯♪